Today was Carter's last day of school. I only made him go for 1 hour because he's been really sad about school and didn't want to be there. I didn't want to torture him so I picked him up after an hour during which he could do whatever the plans were and say goodbye to friends and the teacher. He's been sad about school because he didn't get an award at the awards assembly. We've had the talk about life is not always fair, the talk about what could you do better next year, and then the talk again about how not everyone gets an award. He's still a great kid, he's still a great student, he's still a great helper, but that doesn't mean he'll always or ever get an award for it. He's still never been student of the month yet whenever I've had a parent teacher conference I've heard glowing remarks about how he helps other students and is so kind and caring. He's academically speaking doing very well too but as I explained to Carter you keep doing well because it's the right thing to do and you don't need an award for it. Still it would be nice for him to get recognized because I'm really sick of having this talk and worried about his self esteem. What mom wants their good boy coming home saying "Mom, I'm a loser." So what do you think about awards?
Today was the baby contest which I entered because I would have caught crap if I didn't since everyone's been saying since she was born that she should be in the contest. I had Carter with me as well. He was really sad that she didn't win first, second, or third but I guess it reinforces the talk I had with him about not everyone gets an award. The thing that bothered me was one of the judges saying that she is "big for her age." Maybe it's because I've always had weight issues and self esteem issues because of it but it really really bothered me. She's a baby and technically speaking she isn't even big for her age! She's 50% percentile which means average weight. The category was 7-10 months and she is 9 1/2 months so maybe they just thought she was big compared to the younger babies they judged. My reply was that she had been born 5 pounds 13 ounces so maybe she was just in a growth spurt. I always think of something better to say after the fact. If I saw that judge now I would say "really? you're pretty stupid for your age!" But yeah that's just the mama bear in me talking. Anyway, it's really okay. My baby is happy and cute and we don't need an award to know that she's adorable and wonderful and brightens all of our days. Did I mention how smart she is? Already figured out how to get the safety lock off the cabinet.
So after the contest my sweet friend who could tell I was having issues from my emotional baggage invited us to a fun park! It's all wooden and has tons of fun things to do. Carter loved it! Here's a picture.
7 comments:
First, where is that park?! That looks like so much fun.
And second, I have mixed feelings about the awards, too. Esp. since I had the situation where one child got an award and the other didn't. I always struggle with how to praise and give recognition to the one that got awarded for it, while at the same time reassuring and telling the other child that it's really not that big of a deal. sigh.
I like the kinds of awards where everyone is given something. Just a recognition of the unique contributions of each child. But that is hard to come by, it seems.
My 4th graders class even did the "superlatives" (class clown, best writer, etc) - and I had issues with that, too. Why categorize and label kids so young (or have them label each other) It's bad enough as they get older.
It's so hard to know. These things always seem great when your child is the one "winning" and getting recognition - but not so great when your child is the one feeling bad that they didn't get anything, even when you know they are doing great!!
And that baby judge deserved to be smacked.
But I have BIG issues with the baby contests, too. :)
oh well. Hope you feel better after your park excursion. We all know your kids are adorable and wonderful. :)
I had Ian, Sophia, Orion and Dylan in the baby contests in Orem and here is Eagle Mountain. Orion took third his year. I take from this that you must have 4 children before someone takes pity on you and says, "Fine, yes, you produce decent DNA." Okay, I know that's not true, but it helps me feel better.
The awards were just bizarre to me. I think it's fine if there is a certain award that they know the kids can work towards, but these awards seemed fairly random. I agree that it would have been better if they had just come up with cute little awards for each student and done it in the classes. I'm pretty sure that they were just making up things to fill the last three days. This was Sophia's first year to be student of the month and Ian never was. Oh well.
Nice come back to the judge, Jen, very mature.;-D
I just found out that one of my children is in the 94th percentile for body mass index. The doctor reassuringly (ha!) told me that they don't worry about obesity till above the 95th percentile so I have nothing to worry about. Uhhh, ok. So yeah, we're with you on body image issues. As for awards, I think if they're going to do awards they ought to spell out the guidelines and requirements ahead of time so you know what you're working toward. Like perfect attendance, self-explanatory. That kind of thing. That's too bad that Carter is feeling bad about it, but good for you for focusing on why to work hard and choose the right... it's not about the prize or the recognition, and too often in life those right choices won't be spotlighted anyway. So what kid of awards were they giving out? And how does one get chosen as Student of the Month? Well, hooray for summer anyway!
Jen...you need to see my niece...she's only 9 months older than Lexi (who's 3) but she's as big as Austin (my 6 year-old)...then the term "big for her age" has more applicable meaning! :)
I too have many thoughts on judging and awards...but since I need a lot of therapy before I publicly say anything...I am going to refrain. But, just know, "I HEAR YOU GIRLFRIEND!!!"
Also, Katherine is dang cute! We love her!
I think that, many times, the best and brightest are passed over for awards because teachers are trying to encourage the other kids and give them a positive experience. I don't agree with giving every kid an award...I think they should have to earn it. Carter definitely has earned it, but obviously they aren't honest in how they award these awards. It makes me upset. That's why I never give our awards...I don't like having to make up an award for a kid who has been difficult all year. They should be earned!
Oh, and Katherine looks perfect to me. She is adorable!
I love that park too! We took Elijah there last summer and he still talks about it.
Yeah, we all know Katherine is the prettiest baby out there! I specifically never entered Elijah into any baby contests because it would have made me mad if he hadn't won. I know he's beautiful and that's what's important! Peer pressure makes us do crazy things. :)
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