Sick

I'm so bummed. The baby is coughing and off and on miserable. I feel SO bad for her. I'm able to give her infant tylenol and I've been boiling water on the stove for extra humidity (the humidifier is running upstairs, water boiling downstairs). I've often said that being a parent is the scariest thing for me. Yet another reminder. I talked to the doctor's office already. They told me if there is any change (fever, breathing changes, constant fussiness, or anything that makes me feel like something is not right) to come in immediately as "things get bad really fast with babies this small." So scary. So I'm on pins and needles watching her like a hawk. She's in the swing next to me at the moment since that calms her when she doesn't want me. To add to the misery I am completely sick and have lost my voice. I'll forever be grateful for my voice when it comes back. I won't abuse it anymore by screeching Zeppelin songs or freaking out anymore. I'm determined to fully appreciate it. After all, can I just tell you how heartbreaking it is to have your baby cry in your arms and all you want to do is sing her special lullaby and you can't? It's horrible to not be able to comfort her the way she and I are used to and of course when I asked Carter to sing it for her he can't remember the words. I'm just praying that she weathers this virus okay and doesn't get complications. I don't know how many prayers I've said in the last 48 hours but I would sure welcome more.