Yes I could go to babycenter or parents websites to find info but I'd rather have it from the moms around me who have dealt with the same issues. My adorable, spunky, full of life, sweet faced baby will not stop being really loud at church. A lot of the time her sounds are from happiness, sometimes they are out of anger or frustration, and sometimes they are out of excitement. Such was the case at church today when a family in our ward performed a lovely medley. I could tell she was listening by how she watched them but she also wanted to participate and no bottle, toy, book, or otherwise could prevent her. I took her out of the chapel several times in the first 20 minutes and then I decided to call it quits. I tried hushing her, redirecting her, engaging in silly hand rhymes, but no matter. The adorable child just wants to talk....loudly. I tried all those things hoping to keep her in because she is going to have to learn to just do it but after several looks and taking her out and bringing her back several times I got the car keys, took her out, and drove home. She's sitting reading books (quietly of course now that there isn't an audience) while I sit here typing this post to ask my friends what they do. SO what do you do? I have no previous experience to fall back on because a) Carter wasn't loud and b) we sat in a pew with my parents when Carter was this age so there were 4 adults to one child meaning that if he did get upset about something there was always one of us who could redirect him. It doesn't help that we get to church right as it is starting and therefore are stuck in the metal chairs. Katherine thinks the sound they make when she hits them is beautiful music. We've tried getting there early but she's usually napping until right before we leave or there's some other reason why we can't seem to get there early enough for a pew. I've noticed that she is little quieter when we are in one I guess because she has more room to cruise and no chairs to hit since the pews are covered in fabric. Today Matt had 2 appointments before church and the baby woke up right when he got home so I quickly dressed her, got some juice for her, and off we went. Consequently, we got the metal chairs which tells you why I ended up taking her out a bunch of times and while I'm sitting here on the computer now. So my friends...what is the solution? I know I can't keep coming home because then she'll never learn. I know I can't just sit there while she's talking so loudly because I can't bear the turning heads, I don't want to keep taking her out because it's exhausting since then I end up trying to keep her away from the glass doors because she loves to hit them for the glorious boom sound the make. I totally feel stuck so I'd love some great ideas.
Disclaimer: Yes I know this post makes her sound like a handful but she really is a darling. She's just very busy.
3 comments:
While I know there are some who disagree with me, I think that a lot of the "appropriate" behavior for sitting quietly in church simply comes with age (unless they have ADHD, I guess)- and cannot always be taught.
So, although it doesn't help I know, sometimes you just have to wait for the stage to end. I remember trying to convince myself for a long time that I was being blessed for obedience in coming to church, if nothing else, even though I spent the majority of the 3 hrs in the hallway. It's so hard when you aren't hearing any of the talks or able to get anything out of any of it. And your child isn't either. So you wonder why you're there at all, week after week after week.
But I do believe we are blessed for trying to be there. Even if we're in the hallway.
But I really don't have any true advice, since I ended up leaving church eventually today, too. Chasing an overactive 5 yr old for 3 hrs is exhausting, esp. when you realize you have been chasing him around the hallways for 5 stinkin years. But obviously, I have my own issues. So feel free to ignore me.
I totally agree with Kristen, that you mostly just have to tough it out. Katherine is at what, to me, is the most difficult age for an LDS mom... 12-18 months. UGH! So first of all, don't expect it to get better next week, even trying all the wonderful ideas people are going to shower you with. It will take TIME. But I also TOTALLY agree with Kristen that you are blessed for obedience. And coming every week and staying every week will bring so so so many blessings into your life. If nothing else, it will mean you don't have that uphill battle of trying to get yourself to come back to church after a prolonged absence. That's a really hard one to overcome. In our family, we've found that sitting in the pews makes a HUGE difference and is worth making sacrifices in order to get a pew. I am a firm believer in nothing messes with the baby's nap... except that we get him up early every single Sunday to get to Church early and get us a pew. If one of us has meetings before Church, the other corrals the kids and gets them there early to a pew. To us, it's really really worth that extra work. Not that the little guy is quiet per se... but he's definitely louder when we're on the metal chairs. I would also recommend filling your spiritual reservoir throughout the week, especially as those Sundays do little other than aggravate the mom. Not a lot of uplifting going on when your kid is hollering and wiggling and fussing for 3 hours straight. But if you're waiting for the 3 hour block expecting that to be your one time in the week to feel the Spirit, it probably ain't going to happen. Find ways throughout the week to study the gospel, and you will have greater strength to face those challenges (and all the others) and you will feel less like that reservoir is being drained without being replenished. I've also found that the more toys and snacks I bring, the more demanding the kids are. So we've simplified to bring pretty much nothing. I've never tried that with one as young as Katherine, but I do think the more I try to distract them, the less time they spend with each item, and the louder they clamor for either something new, or just the entertainment you're trying to distract them from (the drum accompaniment to the musical number, for example). So, those are just the bits of advice based on my own experience. That, and remember you're not the only mom struggling with this. We all feel the saaaaaaaame way. But you're trying, and you're not giving up, and you're going to make it through, yes, really, I promise you are!!! It's soooooo hard. I know, soooooo hard. Keep at it... you can do it!!!
Load Baby Einstein onto an iPod touch and let her watch it with earphones all through Sacrament.:-)
I agree with the others. This is the hardest stage for church. Just know that even though it seems loud to you and a few people might turn to look, you are not the only one and the looks are just because she's so darn cute. People aren't judging they are adoring, I promise. That is what I was doing with Corbin Arnett today. He was loud, but so stinkin' cute.
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