A New Kind of Dentistry

So some of you have been following my wisdom teeth saga for awhile now. I've had pain for several months and one of the teeth has broken through the gum and 2 others are almost through. I've been putting off getting them out because I don't want to deal with it and don't have dental insurance and didn't want the pain or the bill. Finally the pain has gotten bad enough to tip the scales and make me want to get them out. I shopped around and found a dentist who would do free wisdom teeth xrays (special panorama kind) and free consultation. I pulled into the parking lot and thought "wow this is going to be expensive." The reason for this thinking was the beautiful stonework face of the building and 3 enormous working fountains. I parked and walked into the archway that made the building look like some fancy day spa. I opened the door and almost laughed. I was greeted by 10 total clone receptionists. Blond perfectly highlighted hair, perfect bodies, nice make up, fancy black clothes, the works. I thought that I should apply for a job as a receptionist and when they don't hire me I can slap them with a discrimination lawsuit. That would pay for my teeth and more. Maybe that's how all attorney wives think, I don't know. So I sat down in the nice waiting area and admired the architecture all the while wondering how much dough these guys were raking in. Eventually one of the clones came to get me for the tour. Yes, tour. She showed me all the fancy equipment that of course they are 1 of 3 dentists in Utah who have these fancy machines, crowns are made in their 1 day lab, they have a santization room (I do want one of those in my house), flat screens, the wall showing their diplomas and humanitarian work, etc. The dentist came in and showed me the digital xrays and I thought it was cool to be able to see my eye orbits and jaw and stuff. Well I thought it was cool until the dentist showed me how bone has grown all around 3 of my 4 wisdom teeth which will make them more difficult to remove. All 4 have to come out. I'm terrified of sedation but the dentist said because of the difficulty and positioning of my teeth he does not think I can keep my mouth open long enough to do the procedure. ARGH! I'm totally freaked out about it but at this point the pain of not getting them removed is worse than just getting it over with (well I think it's worse).

So I'm biting the bullet and just doing it. I did bargain like crazy and I got a good rate. Good enough that I don't feel like they'll be getting a new car or nice vacation out of me anyway. My dad always jokes that he paid for his doctor's Lexus and I want to throw up when I think about how expensive medical/dental bills are. But I did get the free exam and xrays and $75 off sedation and their rates are actually lower than the first place I went for a consultation and the dentist seems a lot more professional and experienced at this second place. I feel good about this place despite the shark closer who looks and talks like Naomi on 90210. I guess the new kind of dentistry is the kind where after your exam you are taken in a room and given a fancy color print out of your treatment plan. They butter you up with a free tshirt and goody bag and then the shark tells you how much you need to pay and pressures you into setting an appointment and paying for the plan right then. Of course I never make decisions quickly as it almost always leads to losing money. So I asked for a discount. The shark said their rates were comparable so they don't do that. I asked her to ask her supervisor and she countered back "so do you get to stay home with your kids?" Normally that would have been a deal breaker but honestly in some sick way it was like part of the fun of bargaining. I respect that she is an excellent shark, I mean closer. She can respect that I am a good negotiator. Besides, she doesn't have kids so she obviously doesn't understand that being able to stay home requires you to pinch every penny.I was comparing the prices with and without sedation because even though the dentist thought I couldn't hold my mouth open that long, it was still my decision. I told her I'd need to discuss it with my husband to which she responded with the classic sales line "well what would your husband want for you?" I responded that I didn't know that's why I needed to talk to him. She offered to let me use her phone but I said he was watching the baby and I didn't want him distracted. I ended up with an offer of a 5% discount on top of everything else I was getting (see people it doesn't hurt to ask) but I still didn't commit. The shark and the uber consumer show down haha. I walked out with a free tshirt and goody bag and didn't have to pay a thing for my visit or all the xrays so I was very pleased. While I was there I never saw the same person twice. I asked how many employees were there and I was told 27. It's the uber day spa dentistry/orthodontist and comestic whatever. I came home and discussed the appointment and the payment options and after comparing prices and services available I called back and scheduled my appointment. I like that I am getting all the bells and whistles and at a better price. I've never been to a dentist office like this before, especially with the whole treatment plan room and closer. Kind of like buying a car but instead it's your teeth. Oh and the shark's parting words "Is it okay if I call you next week?, cuz I know you're in pain." I thought that was a bit over the top since I had completely avoided using the word pain. If you say pain in the dentist office you can just add another few hundred dollars onto your bill because they know they have you. When she asked during the tour if I had pain I told her no, just an occasional achy feeling and that it wasn't bad. As I walked out a heard a chorus of clones "have a good day!" and as I reached the car I allowed myself to start laughing. Oh and yesterday I got a text message on my phone reminding me of my appointment and an email asking me to confirm my appointment. I feel a bit like a helpless swimmer with JAWS circling. A new kind of dentistry for sure.